I did find I was at odds with my self some weeks ago ; what with my regular routine getting completely disrupted by travel and the pressures of work . Prayer time was a challenge as I was missing it more often than not through the inability to squeeze out time in the morning and tiredness in the evenings. When I did get to do justice to prayers , I found a more than commensurate return ,almost as if the Shoten Zenjen where urging me on or as some scriptures say, the dirty water from an unused tap gets flushes out as soon as you turn it on .
In moments of comtemplation I saw flash backs of my life and career and a few sparks of wisdom showed me a new way . One was related to the cultivation of the inner self and how I needed to keep insulated from the momentary ups and downs of the saha world. I realised that much as I had accepted this on an interlectual plane , in reality I was prone to mood swings influenced by the events around me . Just this acceptance and the determination to change is making a big difference for me. If I can resolutely stay on this path I am sure my engagement levels , ability to add value under various circumstances and sheer joy of living will grow by leaps and bounds.
Another nugget was the realisation how stress and stressfulness have almost always been an intermitent part of my life ; unwittingly surfacing from time to time causing a loss of rhythm . I saw that invariably these bouts of stress ,were triggered by the lower ego states that I was sliping into and that I usually sought relief from the external world . These seem common place and no big deal but once again this acceptance and the resolve to change are helping me. Stress is a signal for me to stop and peer inwards and relief will come to me when I focus on the things that need to be done and what value I can add under all circumstances .
I need to summon the strong ichenin to pray every day with a deep sense of gratitude and a desire to give . I’m not there yet but resolve to do so from this very day .In the spiritual world prayer is the bedrock on which one hones ones determinations and builds the resolve to stay steadfastly with them. Prayer and comtemplation brings the wisdom to win .
Perhaps I am being readied for major challenges ahead !!!