The momentous first year away from home is perhaps best captured with out editing from these snatches from an old diary that I maintained and wrote fairly regularly.So here goes :
With the New Year less than ten hours away,I cannot resist thinking over all that has been in ’73.When viewed against the past half-a-dozen years I can say it has been a good year for me and I hope ’74 will prove to be the same.
Last New Year’s eve was quite enjoyable with Hema & the girls and Jaya and Prithi at home.There was a lot of fun,singing and general gaiety.This time it’s not going to be the same.In fact I still haven’t chalked out a programme but with the flexibility and independence I now have I can get around.I do think it would be quite stimulating to break in the New Year alone,with my mind roaming freely and in gay abandon, as it has for most of the present year.It would be a fitting end to the year though not necessarily a great beginning for the next.
For years I have been cramped by tradition and the confines of restrictions. Now to be able to move to the dictates of my own mind unhampered,is a blessed relief.I was always individualistic; most of all because my interests clashed frequently with that of the others. I had to resign myself to views totally out of character, which was a strain to say the least.Years from now when I look back nostalgically ,1973 will stick out as the year I was freed of shackles.
’73 was also the year I finally found steady employment.Earlier I had spent about eight months at the Philips Regional Service Centre at Chennai.I was getting disgruntled with transistor radio servicing when I got the good news of a job at ITI,B’lore.I couldn’t stop myself spreading the news among my colleagues at Philips.It was a relief to know that after almost two years I had finally landed a decent job.
In the eleven months I have spent in ITI, I faced a variety of situations which helped taper down the acute hyper-sensitivity which plagued me in the past.I am learning the happy knack of coming to terms with the practical requirements of every day life.I have adopted a more practical bent of mind.An absolute necessity in this troubled and selfish world.Looking back over the year I can say I sure have grown up a lot.
I always wanted to develope an ever growing social circle on getting a stable job, but I found such a social circle hard to come by for an introvert like me.Besides the circle of friends I had at ITI, the small circle I had outside the factory seemed to be growing tighter and tighter rather than spreading like ripples in a pool of water.I preferred being alone as I treasured my new found independence.I must strike a balance between ideals and good neighbourliness.
Early in the year I decided not to fight against traits within me which are in-born and inherent.I learned not to worry to much if I was being understood on not and most of all I learned to control my over eagerness to please.
Living as a paying guest was a novel experience and being lucky to find a comfortable family to stay with , I didn’t have many problems.It never crossed my mind that I would one day be a PG but now I have got quite used to the idea and even advocate such a living to others like me.The one great thing I learned was to act without thinking too much.Thus, I was never dogmatic and allowed the situation to drive my actions. I was coming to terms with an incorrect world !!It was second nature for me to read the thoughts of others and their actions which gave me a shrewder insight into the people I met. This will be a useful trait in the years to come. o
A lot has been done in ’73 and a lot more remains to be done in the years to come and as long as I count each passing year and still look forward to change in the next,I know I will be growing and maturing.
And so time flew by and ’74 was around the corner.We planned sufficiently in advance for celebrating New Year’s Eve, but as late as the afternoon of the 31st nothing was finalised. With my close buddies from ITI,we set off after dinner, saw a movie,dodged through milling crowds of long haired youngsters yelling & dancing and some where in the hubbub ’73 slid away and ’74 with all it’s promise took over.
What will ’74 have in store for me I wonder?I can’t really predict the future events but with the confidence of ’73 and with due reservations for the unpredictable, I face ’74 with greater balance and peace of mind than I faced ’73.It only remains now to face each twist of fate with patience and courage, to do the very best I can all the time and leave the rest unto the Lord