The momentus first year away from home is perhaps best captured from these snatches from an old diary with out any editting .So here goes :
With the New Year less than ten hours away,I cannot resist thinking over all that has been in ’73.When viewed against the past half-a-dozen years I can say it has been a good year for me andI hope ’74 will prove to be the same.
Lat New Year’s eve was quite enjoyable with Hema & the girls and Jaya and Prithi at home.There was a lot of fun,singing and general gaiety.This time it’s not going to be the same.In fact I still havent chaulked out a programme but with the flexibility and independence I now have I can get around.I do think it would be quite stimulating to break in the New Year alone,with my mind roaming freely and in gay abandon as it has for most of the present year.It would be afitting end to the current year though not necessarily a great beginning for the next.
For years I have been cramped by tradition and the confines of restrictions.Now to be able to move to the dictates of my own mind unhampered , is a blessed relief.I was always individualistic ; most of all because I had a certain priority of interests which clashed almost everytime with that of the others and to resign myself to views totally out of character was a strain to say the least.Years from now when I look back nostaligicaaly ,1973 will stick out as the year I was freed of shackles.
’73 was also the year I finally found steady employment.Earlier I had spent about eight months at the Philips Regional Service Centre at Chennai.I was steadily getting disgruntled with transistor radio servicing when I got the good news of a job at ITI ,B’lore.I couldnt stop myself spreading the news among my colleagues at Philips.It was a relief to know that after almost two years I had finally landed a decent job.
In the eleven months I have spent in ITI I have faced a variety of situations which have served to taper down the acute hyper-sensitivity which plagued me in the past.I am also learning the happy knack of comming to terms with the practical requirements of every day life.I have pushed aside certsain impeding notions and developed a more practical bent of mind.An absolute necessity in this troubled and selfish world.Looking back over the year I can say I sure have grown up a lot.
I has alwaysintended to develope an ever growing circle social circle on getting a stable job but I found such a social circle hard to come by for an introvert like myself.IBesides the circle of friends I had at ITI , the small circle I had outside the factory seemed to be growing tighter and tighter rather than keep spreading like ripples in a pool of water.I seemed to prefer being alone as I treasured my new found independence.Here I must strike a balance between ideals and good neighbourliness.
Even before the year was very old , I had decided not to fight against certain characteristics within me which where in born and inherent .I also learnt not to worry to much if I was being understood on not and most of all I learned to control my over eagerness to please.
Living as a paying guest was a novel experience and as I was lucky to find a comfortable family to stay with , I didnt hav emuch problems.It never crossed my mind that I would one day be a PG but now I have got quite used to the idea and even advocate such a living to others like me.The one great thing Im learnt was to compromise thought and action.Thus I was never dogmatic but allowed a compromise between actions I had to take vs my thoughts and very propitious to act in concernance with my thoughts.In other words I was getting to come to terms with an incorrect world !!It also was second nature for me to read the thoughts of others arising out of thier actions which gave me a shrewder insight into the people I met.
A lot has been done in ’73 and alot more remains to be done in the years to come and as long as I count each passingyear and still look forward to change in the next ,I know I will be growing and maturing.
And so time flew by and ’74 was around the corner .We planned sufficiently in advance for the 31st night but as late as the afternoon of the 31st nothing was finalised.However we ,from ITI , did set off after dinner , saw a movie,dodged through milling crowds of long haired youngsters yelling & dancing and some where in the hubbub ’73 slid away and ’74 with all it’s promise took over.
What will ’74 have in store for me I wonder?I cant really predict the future events but with the confidence of ’73 and with due reservations for the unpredictable , I face ’74 with greater balance and peace of mind than I faced ’73.It only remains now to face each twist of fate with patience and courage, to do the very best I can all the time and leave the rest unto the Lord